Identity + Cultural Struggles

I’ve finally stopped fighting my own identity but instead embrace who I really am and the place that I came from.
Dress Uniqlo x Lemaire Sandals ATP Atelier Sunnies ROC Eyewear Bag Rebecca Minkoff Earrings Common Muse 

The sights and sounds of Malaysia are truly captivating. Yes, Malaysia does have plenty of its own issues but that haven’t diminished its vibrancy, charm and those little surprises that one finds at many of the nooks and corners.

Growing up, ‘the West’ seemed so much more exciting, interesting, beautiful, not to mention advanced and I had little appreciation of the rich culture that I lived in. There was constantly this sentiment of not being ‘good enough’ that floated around so living overseas was very welcoming. After spending (too many) years in Sydney, and now married to a caucasian, I’ve finally stopped fighting my own identity but instead embrace who I really am and the place that I came from. Now that we’re expecting a baby, there’s this fear that our Mini M would somehow lose his ‘Chinese side’ so I’m trying to infuse as much Chineseness (yes there is such a thing) in him as I possibly could, be it through food, travels or language. I’m not sure whether I’ve mentioned this before but my plan is to speak Mandarin and Cantonese to Mini M. Mr M is desperately trying to up his Mandarin skills now as he doesn’t want to be left out of our mother+son conversations lol.

I still remember that time when we were wandering around Kuala Lumpur, exploring what it had to offer. I pridefully showed Mr M around the cute albeit rundown alleyways, the wonderful pre-war architecture and those famous Bunn Choon egg tarts that we stumbled upon. The surroundings were so colourful and unfamiliar (especially for Mr M) and that instantly put us in an inquisitive mood. As my wardrobe choices were quite limited, I instantly said yes to the mossy green dress that my mom whipped out of her cupboard. I would normally shun away from my mom’s clothes (sorry mom!) but my growing belly and that very humid weather just needed something comfortable. I liked the dress so much that I brought it back to Sydney and made it a part of my work wardrobe, alongside some black opaque tights. The moral of the story as a preggers lady? Be open to possibilities, as that would save you some money and headache from purchasing maternity (eek) clothing.

My question for you is, could you relate to the cultural + identity struggles that I’m facing? Are you in a similar position? Do share your views below!


  1. Totally agree! Really want baby to appreciate my side (culture, ethnicity etc). I thought it’ll come easily, but I’m even struggling to speak to my belly in Cantonese! Hopefully it’ll be easier for me to speak in Cantonese once baby is out. I intend to teach baby the different titles we call our maternal/paternal aunts/uncles/grandparents too! xo

    1. Maybe we could all start belting out those mandarin songs we used to sing when we were young! Great idea. Good to plant the seed from an early stage. I don’t have a concrete plan on how to bring up my baby yet but he’s definitely going to eat loads of chinese food! lol

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