I contemplated venting my frustration here on how difficult mini M was while we were in Malaysia and also upon return back to Sydney. The pictures above certainly don’t accurately depict a baby who was having broken sleep, minimal appetite for solids and was extremely clingy and whiny for most part of the day. Instead, I tried very hard to put things into perspective. What has this little human being taught me in this (rather trying) journey of motherhood? What are some of the things that I can learn about myself that I wouldn’t have bothered otherwise?
#1. Compassion
I don’t think I have ever felt this much compassion for mothers as right now. Before mini M, it was so easy to criticise the actions of other parents without reservation. These days, after experiencing first hand on the joy and difficulties of being a parent, I no longer hesitate when it comes to cutting other mamas some slack because let’s face it, we are all flawed. Yes, even those without kids.
#2. Community
In Australia, first time mamas are fortunate enough to be automatically placed into respective mother’s group within your surrounding community. As tedious as that may sound initially, especially when you’re still very much dealing with the emotions of being a new mother, it provides for a great opportunity to connect with ladies who are also figuring things out. Once you’ve committed yourself to building a relationship with these women, you would likely reap the benefits of a supportive group of mama friends who helps combat loneliness and ease the burden of the unknown. Similarly many churches also run mother’s group so that could be another potential avenue to connect with people who are in the same stage in life or sharing the same experiences.
#3. Appreciation
Ever since we got back from a few weeks of holiday in Malaysia, I had taken the initiative to take mini M outdoors to enjoy the beautiful wintry yet sunny weather. Back in my ‘old life,’ I wouldn’t have freely allocated as much time as I have now to appreciate the little pleasures in life because there were always more important things to do. Sometimes I even felt guilty for taking a bit more downtime for myself just to recuperate. In other words, I self-sabotage for some peculiar reason. Nowadays, I’m acutely aware that my baby is growing up so quickly that it kinda forces me to just live in the moment. I want each and every day to feel special not only for him but the both of us. As he’s very much discovering the world and being fascinated with the most boring of things, I’ve also began to gain a different perspective on our everyday life. Most of the ti life is as good as you make it to be.
#4. Enjoyment
Parenthood is difficult and tedious and that’s a fact. However there are also a myriad of wonderful things that shouldn’t be overlooked. Day-to-day is extremely unpredictable with a baby around so I find that being flexible is my best tool to stay sane. Having said that things haven’t always been rosy as I’m not as malleable as I would like to be but I’m trying! I’m also constantly reminding myself to cut this 9-month old baby some slack instead of expecting ‘perfection’ and ‘predictability’ from him all the time. Poor guy has so much on his plate every single day as he learns about the world and as a mom I should really help ease his journey instead of burdening him with unrealistic expectations. These days, I choose to focus on the good and learn from the bad. In the scheme of things, being a mama is truly a privilege.
#5. Trust
I felt like I have been thrown into the deep end and whilst I believe in my ability to be a good parent, I’m also aware about all the things that are out of my control. I have been tested mentally and emotionally time after time and I’m not proud to say that I do ‘lose the plot’ sometimes. I am selfish in many ways and I love my freedom a bit too much but I’m also glad that I could rely and put my trust in my faith to take me through the unknown. Instead of trusting fully on myself to do the hard work, I’m choosing to trust that God has given me sufficient grace to raise mini M into all he needs to be.
I’m sure as mini M continues to grow, my life and mindset would evolve alongside it. Not only am I excited to see mini M grow and develop, it would also be quite interesting to see the person that I’m going to become as well.
So fellow mama, if you’re rather disheartened by a few challenges that were thrown your way, be sure to know that you’re not alone. It’s completely healthy to vent and get everything off your chest. Even better, if you could just take a moment and look at the flip side, you might be genuinely surprised by the lessons that you could take away from those less than desirable moments.
Wishing you a lovely day.
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