Fellow mamas, do you ever anxiously count down till your little one wakes up from her/his nap?
I know right. What on earth is wrong with me?
Mini M has learnt to nap so much better these days, which directly translates to me having more time to myself. By the way, I’ve also let go of using all my ‘free time’ to do all the housework that I could possibly do. Yes I did. I came to realise that keeping the apartment in top form is no longer a priority of mine. Getting all the housework in check is a full time career and I have no interest in that. Anyway I digress. So I should be jumping for joy right now that I have time to write this post (to be precise), check off all the blogs on my feedly, listen to podcasts (hi fellow podcast lovers!) and maybe even put a mini dent on mini M’s hand knitted jumper (this is the completed cardigan and wee envelope).
Yes I should, but why am I allowing anxiety to creep in as well? Now that I have a little bit of extra time to fiddle with, instead of using that time to relax, I’ve been feeling particularly anxious about not doing all the things. I’m constantly feeling like I haven’t used those 45 minutes (or on a good day 1.5 hours) as effectively as I should. They are so precious but I haven’t been able to fully enjoyed them. Agh.
I think I think too much.
Do you feel torn like that as well?
I’ve become that anxious mother it seems.
The silver lining is that at least I could retreat to my own zone, focus on myself for a little and recharge in the meantime.
This post has certainly highlighted my self-sabotaging tendencies. When mini M was terrible at napping, I detested that because I was burnt out. Now that he’s totally giving me the opportunity to have mini breaks, I couldn’t take advantage of them fully.
Go figure.
Come on, I can do better than that.
Anyway, thanks for listening. Pearls of wisdom are always welcomed.
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